Head Over Heels…

Literally and figuratively. On Thanksgiving, while rough-housing with my 5 year old nephew, I managed to rescue him from falling off the couch, but I wasn’t as fortunate. I landed on the (appropriately named) hardwood floor; my nephew landed on top of me, and his knee knocked me in the nose. I thought I was fine but about two weeks later, the room started spinning and shifting sideways, short-term memory loss set in and my vision became impaired. Thankfully, there was no serious damage. I just suffered a hairline fracture in my nose and a concussion. Just over two months later, I am much better, but the dizziness still zaps me a couple times each day. Sometimes it is severe enough that I almost fall over, but most times it is just noticeable enough to be annoying. I think we take a lot for granted—our balance, for example—and only when it is jeopardized or taken away, do we give it another thought.

Another example—my walls and my carpet. Yes you read that correctly. You really don’t know how much you take those things for granted until a pipe between the walls of your condo bursts; causing water and mold damage that will eject you from your home until walls can be reconstructed and floors dried out.

So today, while journaling during my weekend ritual at a table for one, I started contemplating if I’m taking things in my life for granted. What came to mind is that I’ve been so busy focusing on the things that I DON’T HAVE (like a husband, warm weather, a ton of new friends in DC) that I’m overlooking important aspects of my life. Here is just a handful since my last blog that I almost missed:

  • SURPRISE: Although I’ve been dealing with the headache of water damage, I got to meet (and spend quality time with) my neighbors. It turns out that when it rains, it does in fact pour—but I almost overlooked the fact that this time, it was pouring new friends.
  • DREAM COME TRUE: Amidst the hectic nature of my work, I almost overlooked the fact that I always wanted to use my skills to help others. And I always wanted to work on a global brand, see relationship marketing actually work, experience “Hollywood”, work with musicians and other things that marketers dream about. I now have ALL those opportunities in my job, which is AWESOME.
  • SMALL THINGS: There have been many small gifts that make me smile. For example, one of my favorite songs recently blared through the restaurant speakers right at the moment when I needed encouragement. “….you can run, you can hide, but you can’t escape my love” –Enrique Iglesias
  • RIDICULOUS “COINCIDENCE”: Deep in my heart, I wanted to find a church like Mars Hill in Seattle—an Acts 29 church. I also secretly wished it would be walking distance from my house. Recently, out of the blue, an acts 29 plant popped up 2 blocks from my house. The teaching is amazing and for the first time in over a year, I feel like I have a church home. I almost overlooked how precisely the desires of my heart were fulfilled in this situation.
  • LAUGHS: I just realized that I laugh EVERY DAY. That wasn’t always the case.
  • TRUE LOVE: I’m reminded that I might not have a husband right now, but I have experienced being “in love” once–and that person loved me unconditionally. That was a privilege that shouldn’t go overlooked.
  • MORE LOVE: My friends in Seattle still love me so much that they went out of their way on New Year’s Eve (my 34th b-day) to show it.
  • BORING LOVE: After New Years, my friend Marisa went to the trouble of driving to the post office to pack and ship a box containing a single sock, my left sneaker and my new Uggs because I apparently forgot how to pack a suitcase. I hope none of us overlook the kind of love that goes out of its way to do the boring things for us.
  • SOLIDARITY: My sisters and I “do life” together so naturally and expectedly, that I almost overlooked the fact that our solidarity was used in the last 30 days to bring a family one step closer to healing. They are my heroes.
  • BLESSINGS: I’ve seen the prayers of many around me answered—in particular, I am overwhelmed to tears thinking about the fact that my friend Terri is now engaged. She always trusted God with her singleness (although it was painful season for her). God’s timing is perfect and my friend is in love. What a joy! And apparently two more of my ex boyfriends recently got married—good for them (LOL I know what you are thinking). Seriously, I’m happy for them 🙂
  • ABUNDANT JOY: On January 16, I prayed that God would “fill me up” with the Holy Spirit. You see, I have this amazing boss at work and whenever I ask him how he’s doing, he says “great” and means it. It isn’t because his life is perfect—but he does seem experience Godly joy because he tries to walk every day in faith with Christ. So I wondered “what would my life look like if I was not ‘ok’ or ‘good’ but always authentically ‘great’ regardless of circumstance?” (in continuing with the music theme, insert Switchfoot “More Than Fine” here) I asked God to remind me what Godly joy looks like, and He delivered. There are many things that aren’t going my way in my life right now, but somehow, amidst all of it, my heart continues to overflow with joy. In the moments when I feel lonely or sad or indifferent, there God is, giving me an indescribable joy for no apparent reason. It is hard to contain or explain. But I’ll ask Uncle Kracker to help me explain it—read the lyrics I pasted below—they are a near perfect articulation of my heart state right now. God is good and it is well with my soul.
  • DIVINE LOVE: On a related note, I asked God if He would help me love Him more—not just intellectually but emotionally in the way that I love my family, the people my colleagues rescue from violence and other special people in my life. And it’s happening. I can’t explain it—it just is. You might think I’m crazy, but it’s true. “..There’s a new wind blowing like I’ve never known, I’m breathing deeper than I’ve ever done…and it sure feels good to finally feel the way I do….I want to love somebody, love somebody like you..” –Keith Urban.

So there it is. I’m literally head over heels because I’m still dizzy from my fall. And revelations like the above make me head over heels with my life—not because it is perfect–but because I truly am blessed when I put things in perspective (something a good friend always reminds me to do) and because I’ve been given a glimpse of what being content and joyful in all circumstances could actually look like. I’m excited to pursue that.

Uncle Kracker “Smile”

You’re better than the best
I’m lucky just to linger in your light
Cooler than the flip side of my pillow, that’s right.
Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where You send me,
 lets me know that it’s okay
Yeah it’s okay
And the moments where my good times start to fade
You make me smile like the sun, fall out of bed,
Sing like a bird, dizzy in my head
Spin like a record, crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh you make me smile
Don’t know how I lived without you
‘Cause every time that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile
You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh you make me smile
You make me smile like the sun, fall out of bed,
Sing like a bird, dizzy in my head
Spin like a record, crazy on a Sunday night….
*As always, the ideas expressed here are my own and are not intended to represent or reflect the opinions of my employer. Thanks for reading. 🙂
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~ by amylucia on February 7, 2011.

4 Responses to “Head Over Heels…”

  1. ah friend :). i do love you and it’s not just in a boring way! love this post too…love your heart and what God has done and is doing in your life. MISS YOU TONS!!

  2. Glad you got plugged in at an Acts 29 church. Pastor Mark said Acts 29 will be planting a new church every other day this year. So rad. 🙂

  3. i love your evidences of grace! that’s quite a list! He loves YOU! and i do too. i love this heart that shimmers and shines for his glory. you are lovely in my sight and His.
    kel

  4. Hey there:) Pam and I were chatting online last night when we both could not sleep at 3am and she told me all about your wonderful latest blog. Love it when you share your struggles and joys with us. It is awesome that God is answering your prayers in such a specific way:)

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